Return of the Jedi

So I haven't blogged in what seems like centuries.
Truth be told alot has been going on, I've had a lot on my plate recently and I'm just now getting back into the swing of things.

Tragically in the beginning of the year, my beloved mother passed away from a very heartbreaking and sudden death. I really am not sure how I'm handling things right now, I'm just taking everything one moment at a time because if I think too far ahead in the future I become overwhelmed. My mother is such a major part of my life that I'm not sure if I could ever become complacent with the fact that she will no longer physically be here. It is a very huge pill to swallow. Everything I've ever done was for my mother, I enrolled back in school for her, I worked everyday for her, I've always wanted to be successful so that I could reward my mother for all that she's done for me and for how hard she worked to make sure I had an excellent life and uprbringing. This situation really had me questioning everything, from believing in a higher power, to even giving up on life. I even thought "what am I going to tell my children when I have them." It's almost surreal, I'm still having trouble coming to grips with the reality that my nurturer, best friend, confidant, caretaker, mother is no longer here.

Dealing with the death of my mother is extremely trying, but with the help of my dad and stepmom along with my very good friends, I will get through this. I know she's with me everywhere I go and not a day will go by that I do not think of her.

I love you mommy,
forever and always.